


It Must Have Been Love

by roe87



Series: Steve/Bucky modern au's [13]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Bickering, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Break Up, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky's Sisters, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Reconciliation, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-19 12:37:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15510030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roe87/pseuds/roe87
Summary: All his life, Bucky just wanted to get married. He wanted it more than anything.The problem was, his long term boyfriend, Steve, didn't share his views on marriage. Despite how many hints Bucky had dropped about it, Steve seemed determined to avoid the subject.So Bucky decides to find out once and for all if Steve will marry him... or not.





	1. To Have and To Hold

**Author's Note:**

> There's a [rom com movie](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He%27s_Just_Not_That_into_You_\(film\)) I enjoy as a very guilty pleasure, it's mostly terrible but I don't care, I enjoy it, and I based this fic on one of the stories from it. 
> 
> There will be ANGST!! And, obviously, happy endings.
> 
> ~
> 
> Title from the song by Roxette
> 
> ~

 

Bucky wanted to get married.

Like, _really_ wanted to. He'd been low key obsessed with weddings since going to his first as a guest at age six. He'd worn a mini tuxedo, with a cute blue bowtie, while his sisters had worn dresses in pastel blue. Bucky loved seeing all the flowers in the church, and the bride in a frothy white dress, with all her bridesmaids and flower girls. He remembered the groom and his men, in sharp suits with pretty flowers in their lapels.

There'd been so much to look at, such an excited buzz in the air. And what Bucky secretly enjoyed most was the reception after; the grand tent outside, with all its decorative flowers and wait staff, and the tables with creamy white tablecloths to hide under.

It'd felt exciting, almost like a camping trip. Everyone was happy, and there was cake, and food, and dancing.

Afterwards, Bucky's sisters were given posies of fresh flowers to take home, and Bucky had tugged on his mother's hand and almost cried because he'd wanted one too, so she made sure he got one to take home.

Bucky kept his flowers on his nightstand, in a shallow bowl of water, and he gazed at them every night before falling asleep, right up until they wilted.

Bucky loved weddings. His family took him to a couple more over the years, and Bucky loved those too. He'd grown up believing that everyone would get married one day, and have a beautiful wedding.

Then he'd grown up a bit more, and realised he'd been somewhat naïve in his beliefs, though he was going to pin that on his parents and their conservative values.

They meant well, but they could be a bit narrow minded in their views sometimes. Bucky's mom had cried when he'd come out to her in his twenties, and said possibly the cruelest thing anyone had ever said to him: "You'll never get married if you're gay."

Which, ouch.

Also, he was bi, not gay, but it was pointless trying to explain that to her, Bucky had decided. He figured he'd just have to prove her wrong, that was all.

Easier said than done.

Bucky was in his thirties now. And, despite being very set on serious, monogamous dating (he was a traditional romantic, he was well aware of that fact) Bucky's longest and best relationship to date seemed to be a bit... stuck.

He'd been with his current boyfriend, Steve, for nearly five years. It'd been going well, Bucky had thought, especially when Steve moved in with him over a year ago. That had been a big step for both of them.

And yet, Bucky kept hoping that they would take their next big step together; real commitment. Get married.

Despite the fact that whenever Bucky had subtly tried to bring up the subject in the last couple years, Steve never seemed that keen, and would often change the subject.

He just needs time, Bucky kept telling himself.

Or, maybe Steve was misdirecting him on purpose, and he'd end up surprising Bucky with a big proposal. Which was his secret dream, actually. He'd never told anyone, it was too private, but he had hope.

And, honestly, it was kind of frustrating dating a guy, because Bucky wasn't sure if he was waiting for nothing, or if he should propose to Steve himself.

Maybe Steve was waiting for _him_.

There weren't any easy dating rules for his situation. Bucky had been chewing over these things for nearly as long as he'd been with Steve. He couldn't help it, Steve was amazing. Bucky loved him, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

He hoped Steve felt the same way.

 

 

When Becca called him at work one afternoon, Bucky thought something was wrong, his first reaction being panic, until Becca squealed happily, "I'm getting married!"

Bucky's face fell, and he was relieved that Becca couldn't see him.

After he pulled himself together, Bucky did a pretty good job at faking his enthusiasm. "Becs, that's amazing! Congratulations."

"I know, right!" she replied.

Then Bucky had to listen to her babble excitedly about her wedding plans for the next ten minutes, until he reminded her he was at work and they would have to talk later.

She wanted him to be one of her bridesmaids, for crying out loud.

"Not a matron of honor, we can do it like a man of honor instead," she'd said.

Bucky had agreed to whatever she wanted (she was the baby of the bunch, Becca always got whatever she wanted) then he ended the call and scrubbed a hand over his face.

_Great._

Becca would be married in six months' time, and Bucky would have to hear about it all probably every single day until then.

And, when it was over, he'd be the last Barnes sibling left unmarried.

Bucky tried not to feel cranky about that, but...

Yeah. He was cranky.

 

 

Bucky got some groceries on the way home, thinking he'd make something different for dinner. He'd bought wine too, because he sure as hell needed some.

He let himself into the apartment. Steve wasn't home yet, but he'd texted to say he'd be back about seven because of a late meeting.

Bucky went to the bedroom and shed his work clothes. He had a shower, and tried to make himself look nice. He didn't put on his slob clothes, he went kind of in the middle and chose some nice yet comfortable clothes to wear for dinner.

He restyled his hair, left his stubble as it was, and put on a little bit of cologne. Then he went and got started on dinner. Bucky poured himself some wine while he was cooking, keeping an eye on the clock on the wall.

He set the little dining table they had, a thrift store buy that Steve had spotted. Bucky laid a vintage white table cloth, set the places, and kind of wished he had some fresh flowers to put out too.

He had deliberated on it earlier. Bucky often stopped to look at cuts of fresh flowers whenever he saw them, wondering if it would be sad to buy some for himself, because no one else ever bought him flowers.

Bucky drank more wine.

When Steve got home just after seven, Bucky was almost ready to serve.

"Hey," Steve said with a smile, tossing his jacket and his bag onto a chair. "I'll just freshen up."

"Okay," Bucky replied, and put their plates into the oven to warm.

He tried not to feel nervous. This was just another dinner, no sweat. They'd been eating dinner together for years now.

Bucky breathed in deep, and let it out shakily. He took the plates out, and began serving up their dinner; chicken, potatoes, vegetables.

Steve loved his vegetables.

Bucky took the plates over to the table, and set them down just as Steve came back in. He smiled. Steve grinned back at him, coming in to kiss Bucky briefly on the lips.

"Thanks, Buck. Smells amazing."

"Hope you like it," Bucky said. He topped off his glass with more wine, and poured some for Steve.

They sat down to eat, and Steve dug in immediately. "Mmm," he said appreciatively. "What's the occasion?"

Bucky almost knocked his wine glass over. "Nothing," he lied, and picked up his cutlery. "Just wanted to cook for my guy."

Steve smiled as he ate, and they ate their meal in companionable quiet.

When they were about halfway through, Bucky asked Steve about work.

Steve shrugged a shoulder, and made a sort of mumbling noise which Bucky had come to translate after all these years, and concluded that Steve must've thought the meeting had been a waste of time, because he hated corporate talk, and wished his company would just let him get on with designing and stop interrupting him.

Bucky looked at the wine in his glass, swirling it a little. "Any meetings tomorrow?" he asked, trying to get Steve to talk beyond a mumble.

"No, thank God," Steve said, busy cutting up his food. "I don't even know why we bother having meetings, nothing ever gets decided. Waste of time."

Bucky raised his glass to his lips in order to hide his smirk. "Mmm," he agreed, taking a sip.

Steve was a graphic designer, but he got a bit stressed adhering to business hours and deadlines, Bucky had noticed. He was one of those artistic types who'd probably be happier living in a remote hut somewhere out in the wilderness, painting wildlife and reverting back to nature.

Bucky, he was a city boy at heart, always had been. He loved New York, and even though it was busy as hell, he was happy where he lived.

They were due a vacation, though. Despite not enjoying corporate life much, Steve was dedicated to his job and often needed to be reminded to take a break.

"You still want to take that trip?" Bucky asked. "That brochure with the log cabins looks real nice."

"Oh, yeah," Steve said absently, piling food onto his fork. "I'd love to do that, those cabins looked great. But I'd better wait until this promotion is finalised first, Buck. I don't want to miss out just because I was away for a week, you know?"

"Right," Bucky said, though he felt stung by that remark. He didn't want to compete with Steve's job for his attention. Bucky hadn't realised Steve was even interested in going after the promotion, not after his frustrated rant about it a fortnight ago.

Bucky set his glass down and picked up his fork again, pushing a piece of broccoli around his plate. The conversation was getting off course, he thought with annoyance.

Although, if Steve was angling for that promotion after all, then Bucky needed to know about it.

Bucky steeled himself, and asked, "So, you... ever think about the future?"

Steve paused mid chew to look at him with a confused frown. "The promotion?" he mumbled around his food.

Bucky frowned back. He had not envisioned talking about this with Steve's mouth full. Maybe he shouldn't have done this over dinner.

"No," Bucky replied. "I mean, yes. And also, like... you know, where we'll be in five years from now."

"Where we'll be?" Steve repeated. "You don't want to live in New York?"

"Well, now that you mention it..." Bucky resolutely looked at his plate, trying to be casual as he said, "I wouldn't mind living somewhere with more space. Still close to the city, but with like, a back yard. You know..."

"What about our commutes?" Steve said.

"I'm sure we could work something out," Bucky told him.

Steve was quiet a moment, not eating anymore. Bucky dared a glance up, saw Steve was watching him.

"Well?" Bucky prompted.

"So, you want to live somewhere with more space, and a yard?" Steve said, unsure.

Bucky had to struggle against the need to roll his eyes. He loved Steve, but good grief, the man was dense at times.

"Yes," Bucky said, "but it's more about having space to ourselves, you know? Settle down."

"Settle down?" Steve scoffed. "Bucky, we're both at the height of our careers. I've barely got a foot on the ladder of mine, if there even is a ladder. We hardly have any savings between us, not enough to buy a place–"

"Oh, my God," Bucky snapped, reaching for his wine glass again. "It's not about _buying_ , Steve."

Steve stared at him silently as Bucky took a long drink of his wine.

Lord almighty, Bucky needed to be more drunk right now.

"Then... what is it about?" Steve asked.

Bucky felt his face flame up, and he desperately wanted to come out and say it, admit that he wanted to get married. He honestly didn't care where they lived, he just wanted to feel like they were on that track, that Steve wanted to commit to him.

But instead, as always, what came out of Bucky's mouth was only a half admission, a subtle hint. "It's just... everyone we know is settling down," Bucky said, wincing inwardly at how own cowardice, "and, I figured it'd be nice if we were... you know, we were too."

Steve frowned mildly as he processed that (his thinking face, Bucky recognised) then understanding seemed to dawn on him, and he smiled wryly. "Oh, right. Are you covering another celebrity wedding at work?"

Bucky tried very hard to maintain his poker face, though his heart flip-flopped at the word _wedding_. "What?"

"You always start talking about the future when someone is getting married," Steve pointed out, going back to cutting up his food. "So who is it? A straight couple?"

Bucky lost his poker face a little as he felt disappointment set in. "My little sister," he said quietly.

Steve looked up at that. "Becca?" he asked, before shoving a forkful of food into his mouth.

Bucky nodded. "Yeah."

"That's great," Steve said around his food, then went back to cutting up more.

Bucky watched him, feeling confused.

He had to ask. "So... you think it's great that _she's_ getting married, but you don't think that we should?"

Steve glanced up at him, looking a bit contrite. "No," he said calmly, setting down his utensils and wiping his mouth with a napkin. "That's different. If straight people want to buy into that concept, and that industry of spending all your savings in one day, then that's up to them. What really counts, is being committed to each other."

He gestured around at their apartment. "We're already a happy couple, Buck. We live together, we have a great life here. We don't need to go down to City Hall and write a cheque for fifty dollars to the state of New York in order to prove that."

Bucky raised his glass of wine, mostly to hide his face because he was pretty sure he was pouting.

He'd definitely need a refill soon.

"It's not about money," Bucky said.

"I know," Steve said, dismissive. "It's an industry selling false hopes and dreams. Marriage is outdated and old fashioned, Buck. It's not necessary for a happy life together."

Bucky swallowed past the bitterness, and forced himself to smile. "I guess you're right," he lied, for the sake of keeping the peace.

So, Steve clearly hadn't changed his mind on marriage. If anything, he sounded more convinced that it was a bad idea.

Bucky wished he'd never asked, because now he felt miserable and shitty.

It was fine, he would deal. He'd been dealing with swinging between hope and rejection on a regular basis for the past couple years now.

"You want some more wine?" Steve asked, reaching over with the bottle.

Bucky offered his glass, and tried to smile for real this time. "Fill 'er up."

"What do you say after dinner," Steve began, "we curl up on the couch and finish that ice cream we got in the freezer?"

Bucky perked up at that. "And watch more Blindspot?" he asked hopefully.

Steve gave him a fond smile. "Sure, Buck. Anything you want."

 


	2. From This Day Forward

 

Bucky was fine.

Really, he was. Since he'd attempted to bring up marriage with Steve last week, and was unceremoniously shot down (again), Steve had been extra nice to him in the days following. Maybe he felt guilty, Bucky wasn't sure, but Steve was nice pretty much always, so having him be _extra_ nice was akin to Bucky being treated like royalty.

Steve had even talked about booking a trip together soon, and had looked through the log cabin brochure with him one evening. Bucky wanted to take a week, at least, but Steve said he could manage a weekend, unless they wanted to wait a few more months.

Bucky didn't want to wait. He wanted a trip with his man, and if it was only a weekend he'd just suck it up. He figured once Steve's promotion stuff was over and he knew if he'd got it or not, they could plan for a longer trip after.

So, Bucky was in a pretty good mood, all things considered, when he got into work again Monday morning. His assignments were running smoothly, no hiccups, and even the weather was kind of nice.

It was almost lunch time when Bucky heard it; the squeal of happiness and the voices of about a dozen excited women all crowded around one cubicle.

Curious, he nudged his office chair backwards in order to see what the commotion was, and felt his heart lodge itself in his throat as he realised what it was.

_Oh, no._

Mary, from ad sales, was showing off an engagement ring on her finger. The various women all around her were chattering excitedly as they inspected it. Bucky caught snippets of their conversation, asking when the wedding was, where was she having it, how how her fiancé had proposed, blah, blah.

Bucky quickly logged out of his computer and gathered his things together. He was taking an early lunch today.

Outside in the plaza, Bucky grabbed his lunch from the taco stand, and went to find a bench to sit down on. It was getting a little too sunny to sit outside, but he wasn't about to head back into the building just yet.

Shit, he thought. How was he going to avoid Mary at work all day? He was supposed to go over the ad spreads this afternoon, and she'd probably be talking about her wedding every chance she got.

Like Bucky didn't have enough of that from Becca right now.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and Bucky grimaced when he got it out and looked at the screen. Talk of the devil; Becca was calling him.

Bucky decided to give it a miss. For all she knew, he was working anyway. If it was important she would text him, but it was likely just more details about her wedding.

He carried on eating his lunch, got about two and a half more mouthfuls down when his phone received a string of picture messages.

Bucky looked at them, his heart sinking when he saw it was all wedding related Snaps from Becca, primarily about the style and font of the invitations and whether they fit in with her theme, and if he'd go over the seating plans with her at the weekend.

Bucky didn't feel like answering right now, and slipped his phone away again. He didn't feel like eating his lunch either, and set it aside as he sat in silence, staring into the middle distance.

 

 

Bucky felt particularly crabby when he got home later that evening, and found Steve already there in jeans and a t-shirt, getting ready to hang a large picture frame on the wall.

"Hey," Steve greeted cheerfully as Bucky came into the lounge.

Bucky was not feeling cheerful, in fact he was looking for a fight. "What are you doing?" he said, discarding his jacket and his work bag onto the couch.

Steve glanced at him, but had his hands full holding the picture frame. "Just hanging up your painting," he answered. "I told you I'd get around to it eventually."

Right, Bucky thought. It was the painting Steve had done for his birthday last year. The 'big surprise' Steve had told him about, and then handed over to him. Bucky remembered how utterly crushed he'd felt at seeing the size of the package, all big and flat. Not small and ring-box shaped like he'd been hoping for.

Bucky sighed in frustration. "Steve, just... _stop_."

"Huh?" Steve was busy adjusting the picture. "What? You don't like it here?"

"No, I love it there," Bucky snapped, "but I want you to stop being nice to me."

Steve looked over at him, surprise showing on his face. "Huh? What's wrong?"

Bucky couldn't stop himself, he was angry, and unlike all the times before he simply couldn't hide his anger this time. "I want you," he bit out, "to stop being nice to me."

Steve blinked at him in confusion, then very carefully set the painting down on the floor. "Okay," he said gently, turning to face Bucky. "What's the matter?"

"I want you to stop being nice to me, unless you're going to marry me!" Bucky burst out, feeling his heart pound and his face grow hot.

Steve looked blank, like this was the last thing he'd expected Bucky to say, and that just made Bucky even more furious. He growled and stomped away to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Bucky's hands were shaking as he filled up the glass from the tap, and took a cautious sip. He felt sick. He and Steve rarely fought, but usually Bucky went along with what Steve wanted because it was easier.

He heard Steve come into the kitchen, and stand there quietly.

Bucky didn't want to look at him, was hoping Steve would say something to fix this.

After the longest moment, Steve asked, "Bucky, what's going on? Where's this coming from?"

Bucky smiled bitterly, still with his back to Steve. "It's coming from a place I've been hiding from you for about four years now."

Steve didn't answer. It made Bucky more riled up, and after what seemed like the longest silence, Bucky turned around to look at Steve.

"Well?" he snapped.

Steve looked lost. "Buck, I... I don't know what to say. I thought we talked about this."

"No, _you_ talked," Bucky said. "And I didn't push you because I kept _hoping_ , Steve. I thought you..."

He cut himself off, tears pricking his eyes. _I thought you loved me_ , he couldn't say.

"Bucky," Steve tried, sounding upset now. "I don't understand why it's so important. We're practically married already."

"It's not the same!" Bucky shouted, then wiped at his face as the tears escaped. "Just tell me the truth. Are you ever going to marry me?"

Steve frowned, still looking upset. "I've only ever told you the truth, Bucky, and the truth is that I don't believe in marriage."

Bucky exhaled shakily, and even though his heart was breaking, the reality of the situation was now crystal clear to him. "Alright," he said. "Then we're through, Steve. Move your stuff out of my apartment."

He turned and headed for the bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind him. Bucky sat on the bed, their bed, and picked up a pillow, hugging it to his chest.

He'd thought he was going to cry, but strangely the tears didn't come. Perhaps he was in shock. Bucky didn't know, but he did know one thing.

Now, he was free.

 

 

~

 

_Two days later_

 

 

 

"I just don't get it," Steve complained, sitting on Clint's couch.

Clint wandered back from the kitchen, carrying a four pack of beer. He handed a bottle to Steve, and uncapped one for himself. "Welcome to the club, man," he said, offering his beer for Steve to toast with.

Steve frowned at him. "Clint, I'm not _happy_ about this."

"Oh, right." Clint sat back on the couch and took a swig of beer. "Um. So...?"

"So, I don't get it!" Steve repeated. "I can't believe Bucky asked me to move out just like that. We've been together for _five_ _years_."

"Well, what was it about?" Clint asked.

Steve sighed loudly. "He wants to get married."

When Clint didn't respond, Steve looked at him, expecting understanding or agreement from his friend.

Instead, Clint merely shrugged. "Why don't you get married, then?"

Steve couldn't believe it. "Clint. I don't _believe_ in marriage."

"What man does?" Clint chuckled.

"Excuse me?" Steve turned his body to Clint, staring at him in confusion. " _You_ were married."

"Yeah, and look how that turned out." Clint gestured with his beer bottle around his messy, post-divorce bachelor pad.

"But..." Steve was even more confused. "Surely you believed in it to get married in the first place?"

"No?" Clint shrugged again, eyes on the TV set. "You just go along with it to keep them quiet."

Steve felt his eyebrows hike up to his hairline. "Are you serious right now?"

"Dude," Clint snorted a laugh, "no man _wants_ to get married. It's just what you do, and it keeps the women quiet. Or, the guy," he amended quickly.

Steve laid back into the couch again and groaned. "That makes no sense. Why do something if you don't believe in it?"

"Because everyone tells you to?" Clint said. "I don't know. It's just easier to go along with what they want, or you face the endless nagging. So you do it all, marriage, house, kids. Then they decide they don't want you anyway, and take the whole lot."

Steve opened his mouth to say something, to disagree with that sentiment, but he decided against it. He was staying on Clint's couch as a courtesy, so he didn't want to upset the guy, whether Steve agreed with his views or not.

Steve's only other friends were out of the country right now, so he didn't have a whole lot of choices until he found his own room to rent.

Without Bucky.

Steve swallowed past the lump in his throat.

It'd barely been forty-eight hours since the break up, and he missed Bucky. He was still hoping they could talk and work this out. But Bucky had been so adamant, all out of nowhere it seemed, about this marriage issue.

Steve didn't understand why it was such a big deal.

 

Two beers later, Steve was still complaining about it, and Clint drawled, "You guys were practically married anyway. What's the big deal if you just got married?"

"But that's exactly my point!" Steve argued, drunk and riled up. "We were in a committed relationship, what would've changed if we'd signed a bit of paper or not?"

"I dunno," Clint said. "Did he want kids? You guys gotta be married to adopt, right?"

"I..." Steve frowned to himself. "I dunno? He never said about kids?"

"Maybe you should ask?" Clint said.

"Huh," Steve replied, more confused than ever.

After beer number four, Steve called Bucky. He picked up on the third ring, and answered with a quiet, "Hello?"

Steve blurted out, "Do you want kids?"

There was silence for a beat, then came Bucky's bewildered, " _What?_ " in reply.

"Do you want kids?" Steve repeated, leaning against the grimy shower cubicle. He was hiding out in Clint's bathroom to make the call. "Is that what this is about?"

The answering silence did not bode well.

"Hello?" Steve prompted.

"No, Steve," Bucky hissed quietly, "I do not want kids. I've never changed my mind about that since we talked about it years ago. I have plenty of siblings and nieces and nephews, I do _not_ want kids of my own."

"Then... why do you want to get married?" Steve asked, genuinely baffled.

"Because it's important to me," Bucky bit out.

Steve could tell he was trying to keep his voice down, but he sounded pretty angry. There were voices in the background too, female ones, and Steve wondered if Bucky was with his sisters.

"Aren't I important, too?" Steve asked, voice small.

"Of course you are," Bucky replied, "that's _why_ I want to get married."

"But... what would change? We're already living together, we–"

Bucky growled in frustration, but when he spoke it was clear he was trying to remain calm.

He was always so level headed, that's why Steve found all this hidden resentment about not getting married really confusing.

"I'd get to introduce you as my _husband_ ," Bucky told him, "and be taken seriously by literally everyone I know, because it's what grown ups do, they get married and share things, and become next of kin. Don't you ever think about what would happen if one of us wound up in hospital, they'd only let us see each other if we're next of kin, Steve. _Boyfriends_ doesn't cut it, not if you want all the serious things too."

"Well, wait, hold on," Steve tried to say. "I can make arrangements, I can list you as my next of kin, Bucky. We don't have to get married just for that."

"Oh, my God," Bucky groaned. "It's like you don't even hear me. Those aren't the only reasons, Steve. I _want_ this. I want a wedding, I want _vows_. I want to be able to show my family and everyone I love that my partner _wants_ to be with me. And after all that, I want a _husband_."

Steve breathed steadily, absorbing those words. He wanted to argue that _wedding_ to him translated as just an expensive party, and _vows_ were promises that were only as good as the people who made them.

People got divorced every day; vows didn't automatically mean forever.

But...

But he didn't want to upset Bucky even more.

"Bucky, look," Steve tried, "this is all a bit out of left field for me, I didn't know you felt so strongly about it."

"Steve, I told you already," Bucky said firmly, "either you want to marry me, or you don't."

"Bucky, that's not fair."

There was silence for a moment, then Bucky sighed. "No, it's really not."

Then he ended the call.

 

 

 


	3. For Better, For Worse

 

 

Bucky was in purgatory, as far as he was concerned, and purgatory was spending the weekend with his sisters, all three of them, as Becca fitted the bridesmaids dresses.

Becca had allowed Bucky to handle his own suit tailoring, thank God, as long as he adhered to her color scheme. Working in fashion meant that she trusted him a bit more than she trusted Karen or Laura.

Once they were done with the dresses, it was a meeting with the wedding planner, and Bucky was prepared for that.

Becca was a designer, and wanted to have a hand in every detail of the wedding, but she was getting stressed already. Currently crouched by Karen's knees with her pins, she bickered with her over the length of the skirt, as Karen complained about the coral pink color Becca wanted them to wear.

Bucky tactfully kept quiet and let them get on with it. He made himself look busy with Becca's wedding folder, ticking through what they'd done and what they still had left to do. As well as meeting with the wedding planner, there was also the cake tasting scheduled for today.

Good, Bucky thought, because he planned to eat plenty of cake.

"I just think you should've picked a lighter shade," Karen grumbled, as Bucky tried to tune them all out. "Why're you even in such a rush anyway?" she asked Becca. "Why not wait till next spring?"

"Because," Becca grumbled back, pinning the hem of the dress, "I'm not risking the weather in spring, and I don't want to wait a whole year, so it's going to be this summer."

Laura, lounging in a chair watching, cackled a laugh. "You are so pregnant, Becca."

"I'm not pregnant," Becca said, as Karen gasped in shock. "I'm _not_ pregnant!" she said again. "Jeez."

"So, why the rush?" Laura asked.

"I don't want to wait," Becca explained, more harried now. "That's what people do, you assholes. They propose, they get married. End of story."

Bucky felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and he tried to pretend he hadn't heard that.

The sudden quiet after Becca's outburst was noticeable, with Karen and Laura shifting uncomfortably.

"Of course, not everyone gets married," Becca added, sounding guilty. "Some people don't, and that's... that's just fine."

"Absolutely," Laura agreed.

Bucky wanted to roll his eyes. Laura had been the first of them to get married, and Karen after her.

Now Becca.

"Alright," Bucky said, calmly turning a page in the folder. "You can go back to arguing over the dress."

They all went suspiciously quiet again, making Bucky look up.

Becca was looking at him sadly. "Buck," she said, "if being here is too painful for you, please just say so. I can get someone else to help me with the wedding."

"Becca, it's _fine_ ," he insisted. "I'm fine. Let's just focus on you, okay?"

Becca still seemed upset, and Karen quickly stepped in, saying, "We're just worried about you, Buck. We're sorry things didn't work out with Steve."

There was nothing like being cornered by all three siblings at once, Bucky thought tiredly. "I'm fine. Really."

It'd been three months since Steve had moved out, and really, Bucky was getting along with his life alright without him.

"Maybe you'll meet someone at the wedding," Laura piped up.

"Ooh, yes!" Karen agreed. "And, I was going to ask if you want to have dinner with me and Jeff tonight?"

Laura snorted. "Karen, why would he want to hang out with you and your husband? I can't believe you just asked him that."

"I was trying to be nice!" Karen snapped.

"Hey, hey, come on," Bucky interrupted. "Please. We're here for Becca, okay? Let's concentrate on the wedding."

"Bucky," Becca started up, but Bucky waved his hand.

"Becca. Stop it, I'm fine."

 

~

 

Steve was not fine, despite telling anyone who asked that he was.

In truth, he hated his new apartment; he had two room-mates in a small space, both straight guys too, and by God were they messy.

Steve wasn't a neat freak, but living with extremely messy people made him appreciate how clean and tidy Bucky had been.

God, he missed Bucky.

Steve missed all the thoughtful little things Bucky would do for him all the time, and he also missed not being able to do them for Bucky in turn, and seeing the happy smile Bucky would get.

It sucked. Steve missed him. There was a huge, Bucky-shaped hole in his life, and Steve didn't know what to do with himself. He was still getting up every day and going to work, he was functioning, but he resented it and had lost all his enthusiasm.

In fact, Steve had looked at transferring to another department, or a different company, trying to figure out some way that he could spend less time working, but not take too much of a pay cut.

Steve didn't know if he'd find a solution to that problem, but it gave him a purpose. Maybe if he was around more, and less distracted by work, Bucky would give him another chance.

Steve could hope, at least.

 

It was the weekend, and Steve knew he should probably go outside, get some fresh air (well, city air), but he just couldn't be bothered. His annoying room-mates had gone out, and he actually had the apartment to himself.

Steve just wanted to slob around, drink a beer and feel sorry for himself.

When the buzzer went off, Steve cursed under his breath and hoped they'd go away.

The buzzer went again, then Steve's phone lit up.

For one heart-stopping moment, Steve thought it was Bucky. He scrabbled to pick up his phone, heart sinking again when he saw it was only Clint.

Steve almost declined the call, then put two and two together: Clint must be outside his building.

"What?" he said, accepting the call.

"Hey, man," Clint answered. "Lemme up. I got beer."

Steve sighed deeply, but he went over to the buzzer to let Clint in. "You better have a lot of beer," he said into the phone before ending the call. He left the door on the latch, then dragged himself back to the couch.

Steve heard Clint's heavy boots thumping along the hallway to announce his arrival. There was virtually no sound proofing in the building, Steve often heard his neighbors doing all sorts of things.

Clint came into the apartment, brandishing a four pack in each hand. "Hey!" he greeted.

Steve glanced over at him, then did a double take at the knockout redhead who trailed in after Clint.

"This is Natasha," Clint said, kicking the door shut with his foot. "Nat, Steve."

"Hello," Natasha greeted, smiling pleasantly at Steve.

"Uh," Steve said, embarrassed at having a stranger see him like this, in dirty sweats and a general mess. "Uh, hi."

Clint was busy opening the small refrigerator, but recoiled instantly at the smell. "Jesus, Steve. Something died in there."

Steve shrugged. "I live with two idiots. I'm not at all surprised."

"Oh, well!" Clint kept his beer and brought it all over to the couch instead. "Warm beer it is, then. Budge up, man."

Steve moved over to the end, letting Clint sit in the middle while Natasha dropped in at Clint's side.

She looked younger than him, Steve noticed. Clint was at least fifteen years older than Steve, and Steve figured Natasha was about his own age.

Not that Steve was judging, or anything. He was simply surprised.

"So," he said, eyeing them both wearily, "what brings you here?"

Clint popped the top off a beer, handing one to Natasha first. "Can't a guy drop in to see his buddy?"

"Not you, Clint," Steve said, "you're too unorganised for that sort of thing."

Natasha smirked at that, and Clint chuckled. "A man can change." He popped the top off another beer, and handed it to Steve. "Just checking to see you're still alive."

"Did Bucky put you up to this?" Steve asked.

"Well," Clint hedged, opening his own beer and sitting back, "if he did, I'll be sure to tell him how rugged and handsome you look with this new beard you've got."

Steve self consciously rubbed at his overgrown stubble. "So he _did_ ask you to check on me?"

Clint swigged at his beer, then smacked his lips together. "He may have mentioned something."

"Hm," Steve huffed. "Won't talk to me himself, but he'll send you in his place."

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger," Clint said. "Guess he's so busy planning his sister's funeral and all."

"Wait, what?" Steve said in shock, nearly dropping his beer.

"I mean wedding." Clint winced. "Damn. Freudian slip."

"Jeez, Clint." Steve exhaled in relief. "Give me a heart attack."

"Sorry." Clint chugged more beer, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "You know how I feel about weddings and shit."

Beside him, Natasha rolled her eyes fondly.

"Okay," Steve sighed. "Well, you can tell Bucky that I'm standing by my principles on this."

Clint sighed too. "Yeah, alright."

"What principles?" Natasha asked, seeming curious.

"Um, well, it's... personal," Steve said.

"Clint already told me," she explained matter of factly, "I just wanted to hear it from you."

Steve directed a frown at Clint, who laughed nervously and got up from the couch. "What a great time to use the bathroom!" he declared, striding off and taking his beer with him.

Steve continued to frown at his retreating back. He'd known Clint a long time, and there was nothing malicious about him, but Steve felt a bit awkward knowing that he'd told his new girlfriend or whatever about his break up.

"Well?" Natasha prompted.

"Well," Steve repeated. "It's... we disagreed on something important. That was all."

"Being married?" she asked.

Steve shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah."

"How important is it to you?" she asked.

"I don't think it matters," Steve said. "But, apparently, it's important to him."

"Hm." Natasha sounded thoughtful. "Being married is not important to you?"

Steve gave her a look. "Have _you_ ever been married?"

She smiled in challenge. "No one has asked me," she said, then added louder, "yet!"

"I can't hear anything in here," Clint's voice travelled from the bathroom.

Natasha grinned in response, and Steve had to smile.

"He's not keen on the whole marriage deal either," Steve told her.

Natasha shrugged one shoulder, unconcerned. "I'm not keen on watching those C.S.I. shows, but I watch them with him because," she leaned forward to whisper, "it's important to him that we do it together. That's called compromise."

Steve raised an eyebrow at her. "That's not exactly the same thing."

"No," she agreed, sitting back. "It's one of many things little that couples do to compromise when they share. Clint doesn't like the smell of fish, so I don't eat it around him, even though Sushi is one of my favorite meals. I don't cook, so he cooks for me. It's not that difficult to work on a compromise."

Steve was silent, thinking of all the times Bucky had cooked vegetables for them to eat at home, even though he didn't seem that keen on them himself.

And how Bucky absolutely hated washing up, so Steve usually did the tidying in the kitchen, because Bucky did most of the cooking. Living with Bucky had always been so easy.

At least, Steve thought it'd been easy.

Natasha was watching him. "You're thinking of him?" she guessed.

Steve took a swig of beer, and shot back, "Why are you so concerned?"

She shrugged again. "You're Clint's friend, and he's worried about you."

Any irritation Steve had felt simply ebbed away. He was too fed up to be angry at a stranger he didn't even know.

"I'll be fine," he assured her. "I'm going to talk to Bucky after his sister's wedding is over with, and maybe he'll be in a better mood by then."

Natasha smiled at him. "What's he like?"

"Bucky? He's..." Steve sighed. "He's great. Very easy going, very loyal. I just had no idea he was so mad at me."

"Hm. He kept it from you?" she asked.

"Yeah," Steve said. "Although... I guess he'd been dropping hints over the years. I just, I dunno, I didn't realise it meant so much to him. Whenever we talked about it he'd end up agreeing with me, and that was the end of it."

"He was making a compromise," Natasha said.

"Guess so." Steve sighed.

"For how long?" she asked.

"Five years." Steve fiddled with his now empty beer bottle. "We were friends before that too. Feel like I've known him forever. It's weird being without him."

Natasha nodded in understanding, and reached over to lay her hand onto Steve's arm. "I hope you work it out with him," she said gently.

Steve smiled through the sadness, and it was only Clint calling to them suddenly that broke the moment.

"Steve!" Clint hollered. "You're out of toilet paper and I really need some!"

"Uh... if there's none in there, then I'm all out?" Steve said.

Great. That meant he'd have to go grocery shopping again. Steve sighed deeply.

"Here." Natasha pulled a pack of travel sized tissues from her pocket, and offered them to Steve.

Steve looked at them, then up at her. "You want me to go give him these?"

"If you wouldn't mind." She smirked back. "There's a lot of things I would do for Clint, but seeing him on the toilet is not one of them."

Steve smiled at that, and took the tissue packet. "You're right, we all got our limits."

 

 

 

 

 


	4. In Sickness, and In Health

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for chapter:
> 
> There's a medical condition briefly mentioned, please see chapter END NOTES if you want more details, including spoilers for this chapter.
> 
> ~

 

Bucky was deep in rehearsal day hell.

The wedding was less than three weeks away, and Bucky had spent nearly every single weekend with Becca and the extended Barnes family members for six months straight.

And, it was almost six months he'd been newly single, too. Something he was constantly reminded about whenever he had to deal with the Barnes cousins, of which there were far too many nosey ones, Bucky had decided.

And to think, Bucky had often felt sorry for Steve because he didn't have any close, living relatives. Steve had gotten on fine with Bucky's parents and sister's, but he'd never seemed that keen on seeing all the extended cousins and second cousins.

Bucky even found himself starting to wonder what having _no_ cousins would be like, and not having to field invasive questions all the time.

Still, nearly all of them were married now, so Bucky rarely saw them except for the holidays. Once this wedding was over, he'd have a nice long break until Christmas, and the big Barnes holiday party.

Bucky wondered if he'd still be single by then, and decided it was better to focus on something else.

 

After the rehearsal service, they were now at the venue's open buffet for lunch. Later would be the rehearsal dinner, with a lot of the relatives all crowded into one space.

Hopefully there would be wine, Bucky thought.

Lots of wine.

At least his mother, Winnie, was mostly pre-occupied fussing over Becca. She'd only had time to direct two barbed comments at Bucky all day, which was kind of a record for her; Bucky had braced himself for at least five before dinner. Winnie's speciality was what Bucky and Laura had dubbed 'the drive-by barbs', where she'd say some backhanded compliment and then sweep away before her victim had the chance to even reply.

Hardly fair, really.

His cousins, on the other hand, especially Sandra and Amy, were quite the opposite and seemed determined to stick to Bucky like glue. They meant well, but they got on Bucky's nerves asking too many personal questions: _where's that handsome blond hunk, Bucky? Why on earth would you let him go, Bucky, are you mad?_

And, the million dollar question: _so what will you do now, Bucky?_

Drink wine, was Bucky's answer right now. Drink wine and smile politely, and try to field off nosy questions.

Bucky tried to subtly move away, walking further and further down the buffet table. Sandra and Amy wouldn't let him go.

"I have a gay colleague," Amy said, like that was a revelation. "His name's Andrew, and he's blond. Maybe you know him?"

Bucky was almost at his wit's end. He wanted to say, no, Amy, he did not know every gay man in the state of New York.

Sandra tutted, "Amy, Andrew's a bit young for Bucky now. He'll want someone his own age."

God, Bucky thought, and looked up from the buffet table to see who else was around. He managed to spot his dad, George, nearby, and gave him a pleading look.

George smirked back, and for a terrible moment Bucky thought he was going to leave Bucky to his fate: death by nosy cousins.

Then, thankfully, George beckoned him over and called, "Bucky! C'mere."

Thank God.

Bucky excused himself quickly from Amy and Sandra, and hurried over to his dad.

"Thanks," he whispered, as George wrapped a huge arm around Bucky's shoulders and squeezed.

"I have a hankering for cheese," he said, walking them both to the quieter end of the buffet table. "You eaten, son?"

"Yeah, I had some," Bucky said.

"Good. Then be a pal and hold your old man's plate while I pile up."

Bucky smiled, and obligingly picked up one of the china plates and held it out. George leaned over the table and started picking out the canapés he wanted. Bucky eyed George's choices, and also eyed his bulging gut brushing the table as he leaned over. "Dad, maybe have more fruit and less cheese," he said gently.

George grumbled in reply, but did pick up a couple grapes. "I get enough nagging from your mother."

"It's how we show we care," Bucky said with a chuckle. "I'm surprised Becca didn't put you on a pre-wedding diet."

George scoffed, "Like to see her try." He popped a mini hamburger into his mouth, and looked at Bucky as he chewed. "So," he said, mouth half full. "You alright?"

Bucky put on a smile. "Yeah, fine."

"Still not made up with Steve?"

"Uh..." Bucky shifted uncomfortably. "It's not... it's not that simple, Dad."

"Why not?"

"We want different things," Bucky said.

"Like what?" George asked. "Is this about the marriage thing?"

Bucky looked up at him, and George shrugged.

"Laura told me," he said. "Bucky, look. Not everyone gets married, these days. As long as you love each other, that's what counts."

Bucky smiled wryly. "Maybe you'd have a different opinion if you'd never been married, Dad."

George smiled back. "Perhaps. All I'm saying is, don't feel like life is series of boxes you gotta tick off in order to feel happy. If you can be happy without some of those boxes, then that's all you need."

"Yeah, well." Bucky looked down, wanting to hide his face. "Everyone else gets to tick off those boxes."

"Listen, kid." George stepped closer, dropped a large hand onto Bucky's shoulder and squeezed. "Back when everyone was just going to camp at the 'Y', you borrowed my New York times, found some arts camp in the Berkshires, wrote away for information and got accepted all on your own. You never did things like everyone else."

Bucky looked up at his dad, feeling his eyes prickling. "But why not?"

"Because that's you." George smiled kindly at him. "That's why _you're_ my favorite."

A smile broke over Bucky's face. "Dad," he whispered, "you're not supposed to say that."

"I don't give a shit," George declared. "I'm retired, I'll say whatever the hell I want. I'll announce it in the speeches if I have to."

"No, don't," Bucky said with a laugh. "Just keep it between us."

"Okay, then." George patted his shoulder, then turned back to the buffet. "C'mon, kid. Now I want to get a plate of desserts, and you're gonna help me eat them."

"Alright, Dad. But please have some fruit. Two grapes doesn't cut it."

George huffed, but he picked up a bowl of fruit. "There. Happy now?"

Bucky smiled. "Yes, Dad."

 

~

 

The wedding day had finally arrived and, miraculously, everything went smoothly.

The weather was great, the venue was beautiful, and Becca married Mike in the gardens outside, in a flowery gazebo. She looked stunning in her white dress and train, with her bouquet of pink and white flowers, and Karen's and Laura's younger kids as flower girls.

Laura and Karen were in their coral pink bridesmaids dresses (and Karen had been right, the shade really was a bit too dark, Bucky thought) but at least he only had to wear a coral pink shirt himself, with pink flowers in his tux's lapel.

He could cope with that.

After the ceremony was the photos, which Bucky helped the wedding planner organise because there was a lot of wriggly, bored kids to wrangle for group photos on the lawn.

Next, was canapés and drinks, before moving into the marquee for the sit down meal. Bucky had been placed on the family table, so he was sitting with his sisters and their families. The meal was a welcome reprieve from rushing around, and their mom was over on the bride and groom's table along with their dad, so Bucky had a reprieve from her as well.

Bucky admired the table spread as he ate, and the wedding favors all wrapped up in white lace; sugared almonds, confetti for later, and a little square of paper rolled up. Bucky unrolled his paper and read the printed words:

 

_'I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.'_

_-Rita Rudner_

 

Bucky smiled wryly, his thoughts going immediately to Steve.

He'd been thinking about Steve a lot these last few weeks. Bucky wasn't sure if it was being around all the wedding stuff, and so many couples with their families, but he'd really started to feel lonely.

Maybe when the wedding was over, he'd open himself a Tinder account, or one of those elite singles agencies instead. His cousin, Margie, had sworn by speed dating, telling Bucky all about how she'd met her husband at a speed dating event.

Bucky was pretty sure by now that he never wanted to hear another story from couples telling him how they'd got together for as long as he lived.

Thankfully it was time for the speeches, started off by Mike's best man, Pete, who rattled off lots of embarrassing stories about Mike that got everyone laughing.

Then it was George, the father of the bride. Bucky had heard him give the congratulations slash shovel talk speech twice already, and knew it was mostly for show (especially the last part about owning a shotgun and a shovel), but Mike had never heard it before and he had a worried look on his face for the rest of the meal.

"Dear old Dad," Karen muttered, as the guests all lifted their glasses to toast. "Hopefully that's the last time he'll make that joke."

Bucky felt his face heat up, once again being reminded that he _wasn't_ married, and he probably never would be.

Karen must've realised her mistake, as she hastily added, "Um, I mean-"

Bucky shook his head, turning away from her and listening to the toast instead.

"To the bride and groom!" George bellowed out, and everyone repeated, "To the bride and groom!"

 

 

Once the meal was over, the guests were invited to the second marquee tent for the the cake cutting, then more photos, wedding gifts, and the DJ.

Bucky moved between the guests, seeing his mom and one of his aunts looking after the little grandkids, who wanted to slide across the smooth dance-floor on their knees. Bucky smiled at their enthusiasm, remembering how fun weddings had been when he was their age.

George was at the cake table, again, and had a full glass of wine in his hand.

"Dad," Bucky scolded gently, and took the wine glass away from him. "Switch to water for a bit, okay?"

"I've only had a couple!" George laughed deeply, but the rosy flush in his cheeks gave him away.

Bucky gave him a no nonsense look. "Dad, I saw you drink at least four glasses of wine at the meal. Switch to water, or I'm telling Mom."

George snort-laughed, but held up his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll have some water with my cake."

"That's your second helping of cake."

"Third, actually," George said, bending over the buffet table to grab a piece. "You want some?"

Bucky shook his head. "Later. I'm gonna go check on everything."

"You need to relax, Buck!" George told him, shoving a slice of wedding cake into his mouth. "Let your hair down."

"I will," Bucky said, smiling at his dad. "Remember you gotta dance with Becca later, so don't fill up."

"Alright, son," George agreed, even as he reached for more cake.

Bucky left him to it, and weaved his way through the guests. He passed his sister, Laura, in the middle of pleading with her husband, Mark, to stop telling the other guests a tasteless joke.

Bucky moved quickly past, making his way over to Becca and Mike, standing next to their table of gifts.

Bucky overheard them bickering, as Becca hissed to Mike, "I'm just saying, you hesitated before saying, _'I do'_."

"There was no hesitation," Mike argued back, gulping down a glass of wine.

"There was a _splash_ of hesitation," Becca hissed.

Bucky decided not to interrupt, and moved back into the crowd. He quickly got accosted by Christine and David, an older couple. David had worked with Bucky's dad, so he'd known them for years.

"Bucky! Darling!" Christine said excitedly.

"Oh, hi, Chris," Bucky said, doing the air kisses that Christine loved doing. "Hi, Dave."

"Bucky." David shook Bucky's hand with a grin. "We haven't seen you in a long time!"

"Yeah, New York keeps me busy," Bucky said breezily, settling in for small talk.

There was literally no avoiding small talk at weddings.

"And where's that handsome man of yours?" Christine asked eagerly.

Bucky forced himself to keep smiling. "We broke up."

"Oh, my dear," Christine exclaimed, looking concerned. "I'm terribly sorry. Gosh, he was a handsome one."

Bucky snorted a little. "Well, yes."

David cleared his throat, and tried to get his wife's attention. "Um, Chris..."

"You know," Christine barrelled on, "I've got a gay friend! You might know him? Would you like me to give you his number?"

"Maybe not right now," Bucky said, trying to be tactful. "But thanks."

David shot him a look of apology, but Christine seemed oblivious. "Have you been dating?" she asked Bucky. "You must be careful though, men will take you for a ride."

"Uh, no, not right now," Bucky told her. "Also, I don't only date men, Chris. I'm bi."

"Oh?" Christine blinked at him. "What do you mean?"

Bucky was just taking a breath, preparing himself to try explain what bisexuality was, when there was a commotion across the marquee.

Bucky turned round to look, but couldn't see through all the guests. There was a shout of alarm, and Bucky quickly excused himself, making his way through the crowd of people.

"What's wrong?" he said, weaving between bodies. "Let me through!"

It was near the wedding cake stand, and Bucky's heart started pounding as he finally broke through the crowd, only to see his father sprawled out on the floor.

"Dad!" Bucky dropped down next to him, seeing that George's face was red and twisted up in pain. "Dad! Are you hurt?"

George didn't answer, and Bucky had to look at the people nearest to him and question, "What happened? Did he fall?"

One of the waiters came forward. "He just fell down. Shall I call someone, or...?"

Bucky looked back to his father, and noticed that he was clutching a hand to his chest. "Yes!" Bucky shouted. "Call 911, now!"

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~  
> Chapter warnings in full:
> 
>  
> 
> George Barnes, Bucky's dad, has a heart attack at the wedding, and collapses: brief scene at end of chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> ~


	5. Till The End of The Line

 

"Dad, do you want anything else?" Bucky asked, picking up George's breakfast tray.

George was propped up in his bed, and huffed in annoyance. "Yeah, less of the cardboard crap, and more regular people food."

"Well, that cardboard crap," Bucky said, "is what we call whole-wheat toast." He tidied up George's plates and glasses, ready to take them back downstairs.

"Maybe you could fry me up a couple of sausage links," George said with a grin. "Be a pal, Buck."

"Dad," Bucky scolded softly. "You know, people who have just had a heart attack are generally not advised to have animal fat that's been stuffed into a synthetic casing."

George rolled his eyes but he chuckled.

Bucky made sure his pillows were fluffed that he was safely tucked in, and had the TV remote close to hand. "Look, I'll talk to your doctor and the nutritionist, see if at some point we're allowed to include vegetarian sausages into your new diet, okay?"

George gave him a disgusted look in reply. "Are you joking?"

"No, Dad," Bucky said firmly. "I'm not joking, and you're on a strict diet until told otherwise. You wanna see your grandkids grow up, don't you?"

"I'm supposed to say yes, right?" George chuckled. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Of course I do. I'll behave."

"Good." Bucky smiled as he picked up the tray. "You have a rest, I'll be back with..." He trailed off as loud music erupted from downstairs. "Uh... I'll be back with some more water and your lunch soon, okay?"

"Alright, Buck," George said. "Do me a favor? Keep your mother occupied?"

"I'll take care of it, Dad," Bucky promised. "Just rest up."

He left the bedroom and closed the door gently, balancing the tray on his hip.

As Bucky went downstairs, the music got louder.

Seriously, what the fuck?

Having all his sisters and their husbands, plus their kids stay at their parent's house after the wedding was really too much.

It couldn't be the kids making that noise either, because Winnie and two of the cousins had already taken them out for the day so they wouldn't bother George, and to keep Winnie busy so she didn't cry uncontrollably and get on George's last nerve.

Sometimes cousins had their uses, Bucky thought.

At the bottom of the stairs Bucky spotted a half empty glass on the small antique dresser _without_ a coaster (jeez, Winnie would flip if she saw that) along with an empty packet of Cheetos.

Bucky picked them up and set them on his tray, and hurried through the house trying to find the source of the noise.

He checked the den first, where Karen's husband, Jeff, and Laura's husband, Mark were lounging around like they owned the place, watching TV.

The TV wasn't making that much noise, as it was only golf they were watching, so they weren't the culprits.

Bucky breezed past, just as Mark called out, "Hey, man, grab me a beer when you get to the kitchen?"

"Oh, and a little plate of cold cuts, if there's any left?" Jeff added.

Bucky ignored them. Seriously, the nerve?

He went through to the main lounge where the noise was loudest, and right under his parent's bedroom too.

Becca was there, sitting on a chair and biting her nail nervously. Bucky looked first at her, then at her new husband, Mike, sitting by the old record player that belonged to George, as he rifled through the records and blasted out classic Elvis.

"Hey," Bucky called to him. "Mike, would you turn that down a bit? Dad's trying to sleep."

Mike turned a grin to Bucky, brandishing one of the record sleeves. "You think he wants to hang onto this vinyl? My collection could use a lot of these."

Bucky blinked in utter shock. He looked again to Becca, to see if she would jump in and scold her husband for being so thoughtless.

But Becca looked like the last thing she wanted to do was start barking orders. She wasn't normally this quiet, so she was probably still upset.

Bucky would have to do it himself, then.

He inhaled calmly, and set down the tray. Then he walked over to the record player and reached for the volume dial, turning it down to a more reasonable level.

"Mike," Bucky said lowly, "if I hear the music get any louder, I will come back in here with a sledgehammer, and there won't be a record player anymore. Do you understand?"

Mike's blank face was answer enough, and Bucky nodded.

"Good," he said, then turned to walk away.

As he picked up the tray and left the room, he heard Mike complaining to Becca, "Jeez, what's the big deal, Becs? I was only playing a record? Sheesh."

Bucky rolled his eyes and headed for the kitchen.

Karen and Laura were there, sitting at the breakfast table with a pot of coffee.

Bucky only glanced at them briefly before going to the sink to unload the dirty dishes.

"Well, we're totally out of toilet paper," he began, "and all we have left to eat is some old jelly and ramen noodles, so one of us is going to have to go to the store. And," he went on, lowering his voice, "our new brother-in-law would like to co-opt Dad's property before he's even dead. Laura, also your husband would _really_ like another beer to go with his third consecutive hour of the golf network."

When they didn't respond, Bucky looked around.

Karen was making subtle pointing gestures at Laura, who Bucky now realised had her head in her hands, crying.

He rushed over to her. "Are you okay?" he said softly, rubbing Laura's shoulders.

A sob broke out of her, and Bucky hugged her tight.

"Don't worry," he assured her. "Dad's gonna be fine. Don't you worry."

 

 

~

 

 

Becca and Mike left on their honeymoon early the next morning.

At least that was two less people in their parent's house, Bucky thought.

He'd had to take a personal day from work in order to stay and help out. His mother, Winnie, had gone to the airport with Becca to see her off, which was good because Winnie had been stressed and tearful since George's heart attack.

Even though he was making a good recovery, Winnie was a bag of nerves, and Bucky was grateful for some space from her today.

He also needed to clean up the house before she got back, because in the blink of an eye it was a huge mess again after lunch.

Karen and Laura had taken their kids out for the day, to get them out of the way too. George was resting upstairs, and doing good. He'd even eaten his whole-wheat toast and fresh fruit without too much complaining, and Bucky took the dirty food tray back downstairs.

They still needed groceries, as the quick shop Bucky had done last night had been demolished entirely.

Bucky sighed, and went in search of his sister's two layabout husbands to try nag them into doing something.

Bucky balanced the tray on his hip as he opened the door to the den. It was like entering a man cave, and he watched the scene of Jeff and Mark glued to the football game on TV, feet up and beers in their hands.

"Stay home. It's an end-around," Jeff shouted at the screen.

"No, no, it's not," Mark shouted back. "He's still got it."

They cursed loudly in unison, still not registering that Bucky was watching them.

"Man," Jeff complained. "That is so embarrassing."

"Got that right," Bucky muttered, finally getting their attention.

They both glanced over. Mark decided to ignore him, and turned his attention back to the screen, but Jeff got defensive and snapped, "What?"

Bucky raised his eyebrows. Seriously, these guys.

He took a calm breath and said pointedly, "Did you guys have a chance to get to the store yet?"

"Oh, yeah, no," Jeff said dismissively, "we're good, we got takeout."

"No, I didn't mean for you," Bucky said, in utter disbelief. "I meant for-"

"All right, here we go!" Mark shouted at the TV, as Jeff began clapping loudly and whooping.

"Yeah! Come on, defense, wake up!"

They went back to ignoring Bucky, and Bucky just... he gave up. He didn't want to start a fight with them and ultimately give his sister's the headache of dealing with them sulking later.

Thank God the long weekend was nearly over and they'd all be leaving tonight.

Bucky would just have to cope until then.

He carried the tray to the kitchen, and as he got closer heard the gentle clink of china plates.

Someone was home early, Bucky thought. Hopefully they'd brought groceries.

He entered the kitchen and almost dropped the tray when he saw _Steve_ standing at the sink, doing the washing up.

Bucky's mouth dropped open, but no sound came out. This was like a mirage, or something.

And the kitchen was _clean_.

Bucky glanced around in amazement, the mess from lunch having been cleared away, and the baskets of laundry Bucky had meant to do next were gone as well.

Steve must've heard him, as he turned around. He had a beard, a dark brown beard.

Bucky couldn't believe it.

"Hey," Steve said gently, wiping his hands on a dishcloth. "Um, Becca called me this morning, told me what happened. I... came to help out." He set the cloth down and gestured at the sink full of dirty dishes still to clean. "I just got a little bit more of this I gotta finish," he explained. "There's some laundry I'm gonna put away, and I have another load of clothes in the dryer."

Bucky smiled, even as hot tears sprung to his eyes.

Steve smiled back, tentative. "I brought some groceries, they're already put away. I did get some of the food your dad likes, but I got him some healthy stuff too."

Bucky strode forward, dumped the tray on the nearest surface and went to wrap his arms around Steve.

Steve opened his arms and hugged him back, and held him as the tears fell.

"It's gonna be okay, Buck," he said. "It'll be okay."

Bucky clung onto him tight. "Yeah," he whispered back.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~
> 
> Not long to go now! Hope you're enjoying the story so far!
> 
> Thank you all for your kind comments!


	6. I Now Pronounce You...

 

10:11 Bucky:

_Hey. I just wanted to say thanks for helping yesterday. I'm back in New York now. Are you free after work? I'd like to talk._

  


10:17 Steve:

_You don't have to thank me, Bucky, and I'm sorry things were so stressful. Hope they'll get better now. And, yes, I'm free tonight. I'd invite you over to my place but it's kind of unfit for guests! Want me to meet you somewhere?_

  


10:21 Bucky:

_Yeah, Clint told me about your place. Do you want to come over here instead? I'm too tired to go anywhere. I'll get take-out from that Thai place you like?_

  


10:22 Steve:

_:D_

  


10:23 Steve

_Yeah, that'd be great! I should be able to get there at 6._

  


10:24 Bucky

_:) See you later_

  


  


~

  


Steve arrived promptly at six, still in his office clothes but with his tie loose and his top button undone, and brandishing a bottle of Bucky's favorite wine.

"Oh," Bucky said in surprise as he took the bottle. "Thanks. This is exactly what I need right now."

Steve smiled, looking a little bashful as he followed Bucky into the apartment.

"Make yourself comfortable," Bucky told him, as he got out glasses and opened the wine. "Menu's on the coffee table."

"Okay, thanks," Steve said, sitting down on the couch. "I haven't had Thai in a while."

"Yeah, me neither." Bucky walked over to the couch with two full wine glasses. "Thought it might be nice." He handed Steve his glass before he sat down next to him.

Steve smiled, and he still had that dark, unkempt beard all over his face.

Bucky sipped at his wine, and Steve did the same. It seemed he was waiting for Bucky to lead, and that was fine, Bucky just...

He needed a moment to steel himself.

"Steve," he started. "I... I just wanted to say thank you for helping yesterday. It really meant a lot to me."

"Buck, I'm still the same person," Steve said. "I would do anything for you. I just can't give you..." He trailed off sadly. "I just can't give you what you want."

Bucky set down his wine glass, and turned to Steve. "You're what I want," he said. "Our life together is what I want. I miss it. I miss _you_. I see those guys my sisters are married to, and I just..." Bucky shook his head. "Steve, you were more of a husband to me _not_ being married, than those husbands of theirs are ever gonna be, and it's enough. It's really enough for me."

Steve was watching him quietly, like he was surprised to be hearing this. He set his wine glass aside too, and shifted closer to Bucky on the couch. "And you would be willing to take the whole... marriage thing off the table completely?"

"If you promise to commit to me," Bucky said, "and to love me, and-"

"I already _have_ ," Steve interrupted. "Bucky, I-"

"I'm not finished," Bucky snapped.

"Okay, sorry," Steve said with a sigh. "All right. But I've loved you for five years-"

"Ah-ah!" Bucky shushed, holding his finger up. "Still not finished."

Steve pressed his lips together and nodded, gesturing for Bucky to go on.

Bucky breathed in, and out, then calmly began to lay out his terms. "I want you to use the shower spray on the tiles every time after you shower. No exceptions."

Steve grinned at that.

It'd been a running debate between them.

"And you gotta put up those shelves," Bucky went on.

Steve nodded. "Okay."

"And I want us to spend more time doing couple things," Bucky said.

"Couple things?" Steve questioned.

"Like, date nights," Bucky explained, feeling his face flush a bit. "I _like_ romantic stuff, Steve. I probably should've told you that earlier, and I know you think it's cheesy or whatever, but I really like it. I want to have dinner dates with you, and I want you to surprise me with flowers sometimes."

Steve nodded slowly. "Okay. I can do that."

"Right," Bucky said, relief pouring through him. "Okay."

Steve waited for him to say more. "And...?"

"And. Yeah," Bucky said with a shrug. "That's it."

"Alright, deal," Steve agreed, smiling at him.

They gazed at each other, then Bucky reached out. Steve reached out too, and pulled him close. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve's shoulders, tilting his face as they met in a kiss.

The kiss was tender at first, Steve holding him tight like he didn't want to let Bucky go. The kiss became more heated, until Steve broke it off to whisper, "Do I get to come home now?"

Bucky rested his forehead against Steve's, smiling happily. "I guess you can," he said, then pulled back and touched a hand to Steve's bushy beard. "But this cannot come."

"What?" Steve looked surprised. "My beard?"

"It cannot come," Bucky repeated, tugging on the long hairs.

Steve laughed. "What's wrong with my beard?"

"If you at least get it trimmed professionally, I'll think about it," Bucky said, breaking into a smile. "But, Steve, come on. It's _really_ bushy, I'm not kissing that. And my dad has a huge beard, remember? I always associate beards with him."

"Point taken," Steve said with a chuckle. "I'll get rid of it. Happy now?"

Bucky grinned. "Happy."

 

 


	7. Married

_One month later_

 

"Come on, Buck," Steve called out, "the Uber's here!"

"One sec!" Bucky called back, fussing with his tie. He wanted to look nice for their date.

"Bucky, don't make me come in there," Steve's voice carried through the door.

"Okay, ready," Bucky said with a grin. He swept out of the bedroom, and smiled at Steve who was looking smart in a dark blue button down, and his best slacks.

"Where's your jacket?" Bucky asked, looking around for it. "You'll need a jacket later, Steve."

"I'll bring a jacket," Steve appeased. "Now, please, come on, we have a reservation."

He offered his arm out to Bucky, making Bucky laugh as he took it. They left the apartment arm in arm, Steve grabbing his jacket along the way.

"I can't wait to see this place," Bucky said as they rode down in the elevator. "The reviews have been amazing."

Steve smiled at him fondly. "Gonna give them a good Yelp?"

Bucky pretended to consider it. "Maybe I will."

He loved leaving reviews for places, nice ones if he could.

"Let's hope they leave an impression," Steve said, as the elevator doors opened.

They found their Uber outside, and held hands in the backseat on the drive over. Bucky was excited. This was their first fancy date since getting back together.

Sure, they'd had dinner together since Steve moved back in, and had had date nights at home. Steve had even brought him flowers a couple times, which Bucky was more than thrilled with.

But going out to dinner was something special, and Bucky loved doing it. He couldn't wait to see this new restaurant too, the interior photos he'd found when snooping online had looked pretty amazing.

Steve had made the reservation though, so Bucky was even more excited because he hadn't had to organise it, he could just kick back and enjoy being doted on.

 

When they got to the restaurant, the maître d' greeted them and then showed them to their table.

Bucky loved it instantly; a table for two set up in an alcove, so it was a little apart from the hubbub of the restaurant. Very cosy and romantic. Bucky gazed around at the décor as they sat down: lots of well placed, low-lighting, and the color scheme was good, too. The walls were exposed bricks, with a few tasteful hanging plants. Their table had a creamy, white table cloth, with shiny silverware, and a slim, china vase with a single red rose, freshly cut, in the center of the table.

Bucky carefully slid the vase to the side, then adjusted his cutlery and napkin. He looked up to see Steve watching him with a smirk.

"What?" Bucky said, feeling his cheeks flush.

Steve smiled in reply, his eyes crinkling in amusement. "Is everything to your liking?"

Bucky nodded. "Yep. I'd say so."

"Wonderful," Steve said, miming a sigh of relief.

A server came over with the drinks menu, which Bucky looked at gleefully.

"You wanna share a bottle?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, we can later," Bucky told him. "But I want to pair the wine with our meal, so we could have an aperitif for now?"

"Oh," Steve said with a grin, then closed his menu and handed it back to the server. "I guess he'll choose for us."

Bucky smiled as he handed back the wine menu. "Two classic martinis, please."

The server left with their menus, and came back a few minutes later with their martinis, and the dinner menus.

"Thank you," Bucky said, as the server left again.

Steve raised his glass in toast. "Here's to date night," he said.

Bucky grinned, and raised his glass to gently knock against Steve's. "To date night," he said happily, and took a sip of his drink.

Steve did too, then set his glass down. "Wow, that's strong. I'll be drunk before dinner."

Bucky laughed. "Better choose your meal quick, then, so I can order the wine too."

"On it," Steve said, opening his menu.

They chose their meals, and Bucky ordered a bottle of wine to accompany it, then they were able to sit back and enjoy the martinis before dinner arrived.

"You like the restaurant?" Steve asked him.

"Yeah, love it," Bucky said, still gazing around. "And I love this spot. Did you ask for it?"

"Yeah." Steve looked down, bashful. "I wanted a special table for my special guy."

Bucky grinned, and reached his hand across the table. Steve took his outstretched hand, twining their fingers together.

"Thanks, Steve," Bucky said. "I'm glad we could do this."

Steve smiled back at him. "Me, too, Buck. This means a lot to me."

 

The meal was amazing, cooked to perfection. The wine was perfect too. Bucky was in seventh heaven. They ate their meal together, chatting easily.

Bucky hadn't enjoyed himself so much in a long time, and he didn't want the evening to end.

After their plates were cleared, Bucky looked to Steve hopefully. "Do you want to get dessert? Or coffee?"

He knew Steve wasn't a big fan of sweet things, but sometimes he could be persuaded.

Steve smiled broadly. "There's a dessert I wanted to try, if that's alright with you? We can share it?"

"Oh." Bucky was pleasantly surprised. "Yeah, sure. That sounds nice."

"Great." Steve set down his napkin and made to get up. "I can tell the server on my way to the bathroom. Won't be a minute."

"Okay." Bucky smiled at him as he left, and he watched Steve weave through the tables and around the corner. More than a couple heads turned as he passed, and Bucky couldn't help a small, smug smile to himself, knowing Steve was his guy.

He drank the rest of his wine, waiting on Steve.

A few minutes later, Steve returned. "I asked the server to bring coffee with the desert," he said, sitting back down. "Hope that's okay?"

"Yeah, I'll probably need a coffee soon," Bucky said.

Steve eyed the now empty bottle of wine on the table. "After all that wine, Bucky Barnes, you'll probably need a couple espressos as well as a coffee."

Bucky laughed. "Nah, just pour me into bed later. I can't wait to have a lie in tomorrow."

"Yeah, me too." Steve grinned at him.

Bucky eyed him suspiciously. "You're usually more sleepy after a big meal. Did they put coffee in your food?"

Steve snorted a laugh, then tried to maintain a straight face. "Maybe."

Bucky shrugged, and looked out over the restaurant floor. He spotted their server coming, carrying a covered plate.

"Is that for us?" Bucky asked, watching excitedly.

"Guess we'll find out," Steve said.

Bucky watched the server approach, and there was a steel dome cover on top of the plate. "Wow, what's this?" Bucky asked, as the server placed the dish on the table between them, then simply nodded at them and left.

Bucky was confused. "Uh, what's in it?" he asked Steve.

Steve was grinning deviously. "Why don't you lift the cover off and find out?"

Bucky raised his eyebrows, but he was willing to play along. "Alright," he said, cautiously leaning forward. "But if it's something weird, Steve, I will not be eating it."

Steve smiled, but didn't say anything else.

Bucky clasped the little handle, braced himself, and lifted the cover away quickly.

He was surprised to see no desert, but a small black box on the china plate. Bucky's breath caught, and his mind instantly thought, _engagement ring_.

But, no.

No, surely not. It would be too perfect, and Bucky would get his hopes up again only to find that the box contained something stupid like after-dinner mints, because Bucky had gotten his hopes up before with surprise gifts, and it'd never turned out to be what he'd wanted.

"Aren't you gonna open it?" Steve asked, amusement in his voice.

Bucky bit his lip, tears pricking his eyes.

If this _wasn't_ what he thought it was, he didn't think he could handle having his hopes dashed again.

"Okay," Steve said, more gently. "I'll open it for you."

He got up, and came around the table. He picked up the black box, but instead of opening it straight away like Bucky expected, Steve got down on one knee beside him.

Bucky's jaw dropped, and his eyes went wide as he watched Steve open up the box, presenting a simple, gold band inside.

Steve smiled up at him. "Bucky, I love you, so much. And I just want to make you happy. That's all I want. So," he said, taking a breath and holding up the ring box, "will you marry me?"

Bucky exhaled in relief, and tears slipped down his cheeks. "Yes, of course I'll marry you."

"Yeah?" Steve asked, grinning wide.

Bucky nodded. "Yes."

Steve took the ring from its box, and put it on Bucky's finger. It was such a good fit, and seeing it on his own hand brought forth more tears, and Bucky had to use a napkin to dry his eyes.

"You okay?" Steve asked, standing up to give him a hug.

Bucky clung onto him and nodded, and cried a bit more.

Steve rubbed his back. "Want to stay for the cake? Or get it to go?"

Bucky managed to blubber a reply, and Steve miraculously understood it.

"Okay, we'll get it to go," he said gently, and signalled for the server.

 

Steve settled their bill, and got their dessert in a pretty little box to take home. He placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder as he led him out the restaurant, and Bucky tried to dry his eyes and stop crying.

A woman sitting at a table told them as they passed, "That was just lovely! Good luck to you both!"

Steve thanked her, and with that they left the restaurant.

Bucky tucked his wet napkin away as Steve wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Better now?" he asked, grinning.

Bucky nodded, still not trusting himself to speak. He slipped his arm around Steve's waist, holding on.

"Wanna walk through Times Square while we're here and take pictures?" Steve asked.

Bucky felt his face light up again, and he nodded. 

"Okay, come on." Steve steered them onto the sidewalk, weaving between tourists walking too slow, and New Yorkers walking too fast.

When they got to Times Square, they found a nice spot in among all the lit up signs, and took a smiling selfie together.

Bucky uploaded it to his Snapchat story:

_Just got engaged!!!!_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ 
> 
> They made it! Yay!
> 
> Shall I write a little epilogue? 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the story!


	8. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy this epilogue of schmoop! lol
> 
> And thank you for your kind comments on the fic!
> 
> ~

 

 

Bucky loved weddings.

He had plenty of folders dedicated to wedding themes on pretty much every storage device he owned; his laptop, his tablet, his Pinterest, and also magazine clippings in a box at home. He'd been collecting ideas for years, at around the same time his sisters had poured over their fashion magazines and began to cut out pictures for their scrapbooks. Bucky had done the same, with him and Becca especially being very interested in fashion, and weddings in particular.

Bucky had been to enough weddings as an adult, and helped plan all his sisters' weddings, that he now had a better idea of what he liked and what would work for him.

And, even though Bucky had always loved the idea of a spring or a summer wedding with colorful, blooming flowers, and warm weather, he decided on a winter theme for his own. So he looked through all his winter wedding pictures, made up a presentation folder, and showed it to Steve.

"You want to get married in the winter?" Steve had asked, somewhat surprised. "Like, this winter? Or next winter?"

"Is this winter okay?" Bucky asked. "It's just, I can get a small scale event together in time for late December, and I really... you know, I really want my Dad to be there."

Steve's gaze softened at the admission, and he wrapped an arm around Bucky as he kissed the side of his head. "Whatever you think is best, we'll do that."

Bucky grinned happily, trying to hold back tears of relief. "Thanks, Steve. There's a really nice venue close to my parent's place, I think it would be perfect. Plus, most of my family will already be visiting for the Christmas party, so it makes sense."

"Sure, Buck," Steve said, then smiled deviously. "Does this mean in future, we can cry off any Christmas engagements we don't want to go to because it'll be our anniversary?"

Bucky hummed thoughtfully. "I hadn't thought of that. Don't think you can use this to get out of the Barnes Christmas party, Steve."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Steve said dryly, so Bucky slapped his arm with the wedding folder and laughed.

 

Bucky handled most of the arrangements himself, not because he was a control freak or anything...

Okay, maybe he was a tiny bit, but he'd been dreaming of his wedding day all his life, and he only planned to have one.

He booked the venue and the officiaries for their date in December, and sent out the invitations to friends and family, hired a caterer who would provide a gluten free and either fish or vegetarian menu, because Bucky knew that his Dad would want to eat at a wedding, so healthy food it would have to be.

Even the cake Bucky chose would be a gluten free, low sugar sponge cake instead of a fruit cake. But that was fine, as Bucky actually hated raisins, so a regular cake was good. The icing would be white, but also gluten free, and the cake tiered in a classic three piece set, with two tiny grooms on the top.

His parents had offered to help with the cost, which was a huge relief. Steve didn't have any close family to help them out, and he'd been right, they really didn't have much in the way of savings between them. Bucky hadn't expected his parents to pay, but George insisted.

Even Winnie had been agreeable, and also helped in the planning, which was kind of a pleasant surprise. Bucky went up to see his parents at the weekends, sometimes with Steve and sometimes on his own, just to help out around the house and to see his dad, who was doing really well and had even lost some weight. George still grumbled about his new 'boring' diet, but everyone else, including his doctor, was pleased with his progress.

Bucky and his mom went through his wedding plans together, papers all spread out over the Barnes dining table, while George sat with his feet up nearby and put in dry remarks here and there, especially over the guestlist and seating plan.

Bucky was just thrilled that his dad was a part of it all.

 

 

Bucky decided to ask Becca to be his best woman, seeing as she'd made him a man of honor, he thought he'd return the favor. He also knew that Becca would be able to wrangle his other sisters and relatives, so that took some of the stress of his shoulders.

He was gracious enough to let them choose their own dresses, as long as they stayed in the color scheme of pale blue and white.

The flowers Bucky ordered were also shades of blue and white, with some wintery twigs and branches as accents. It sounded kind of ridiculous on paper, but they looked really amazing when arranged with the flowers.

Steve's face when he'd read out from the invoice, " _Twigs_ and _branches,_ Bucky?" was pretty funny.

"These are frosted twigs and sparkling branches," Bucky had told him, only to burst out laughing at the unconvinced look Steve gave him. "Trust me, it'll look great. The lighting will make it look good."

"Alright," Steve sighed. "I can't imagine your dad is thrilled about paying for branches when you can get them free in the park."

"He said about the same as you," Bucky laughed. "But Mom likes these branches, for your information."

Steve muttered under his breath, and Bucky had to bite his lip in order not to keep laughing.

 

Overall, Steve was pretty easy going about the whole thing, especially as it was a bit of a rush. He patiently sat through questions when Bucky had to ask him his opinion, and he made choices quickly and without much complaint.

Bucky did let Steve pick a groom's cake, because it was a family tradition and Winnie had asked if Steve wanted to have one. Bucky then got to watch Steve deliberate for nearly three hours over a Star Wars cake, or a Star Trek cake.

His face when Bucky had asked, "What's the difference, Steve?" had been a picture.

In the end, Steve went with a Star Wars cake that was a big, grey, round blob supposed to look like The Death Star.

Apparently it was a popular choice from this themed bakery.

Bucky didn't particularly care, as it would be off to the side and not on the main wedding cake stand. Another gluten free sponge, too, though this one would be chocolate orange flavour, because Steve was just weird.

As November approached, they got fitted for their matching tuxes, going for dark gray with blue accents, and white shirts. The waistcoats were beautiful too, and on the day they'd wear fresh flowers in their lapels.

Becca came along to the fittings for moral support. Bucky had a few teary moments which Becca made fun of him for, but Steve gave him a hug and it was all good. Bucky was happy.

Beyond happy, truly.

 

Then December arrived, and the Sunday morning of the rehearsal day, Bucky hid in his bathroom having one of the biggest anxiety attacks he'd ever experienced.

Steve managed to coax him out eventually, and made him some tea.

"There's nothing to get all worried about," Steve told him gently, rubbing his back as Bucky sat shivering on the couch. "Everything's taken care of, you planned it to perfection, so all you gotta do now is relax, and walk through this rehearsal. Piece of cake."

"Piece of cake," Bucky said shakily, trying to will his panic away.

"It's gonna be fine," Steve assured him. "Drink your tea, and we'll go get dressed. Clint's gonna be here soon to pick us up. It'll be fine, Buck, I promise."

"Okay," Bucky said, and made himself breathe in, then breathe out. "Okay. I can do this."

"Of course you can," Steve said, still rubbing his back. "Everything's gonna be great. Plus, we get to eat loads of food today."

Bucky huffed a laugh. "Yeah, I guess."

 

The rehearsal day went well, which was a relief. Becca and Laura stayed for the whole day to help out, along with Winnie and a couple of Bucky's cousins. Karen came later in the day, bringing George for the dinner part so he could sit down and not be standing up for too long.

Steve's friend, Clint, and his girlfriend, Natasha, kept Steve company for the day. Natasha stood in during the rehearsals for Steve's friend, Sam, who would join them for the wedding day when he'd be on leave from the Air Force.

All in all, everything was falling into place, and Bucky was able to relax a tiny bit.

That was, until Becca declared over dinner and a few glasses of wine that she had prepared the most embarrassing best woman's speech in the history of all wedding speeches.

Bucky's blood ran cold in an instant, but before he could even say anything Winnie beat him to the punch, and warned Becca that she had to keep it family friendly or she'd be in trouble.

No one messed with Winnie Barnes, so Becca shrunk down in her seat and promised to re-write the speech.

Bucky smirked into his wine glass and stayed out of it.

 

At the end of the day, Clint drove them back to New York, and Natasha suggested they visit a bar near Clint's place to get a drink and unwind.

Bucky looked to Steve to gauge how tired he was, but Steve seemed in a pretty good mood.

"I wouldn't mind a quick drink before heading home," he said, smiling at Bucky. "What about you?"

Bucky smiled too. "Sure, sounds fun."

When they got to the bar, there was a bunch of their friends already waiting for them: a couple of Bucky's colleagues from his work, some of Steve's, and the two guys Steve had shared an apartment with, Scott and Luis.

"What's going on?" Bucky asked Natasha, once they were done greeting their friends and had shot glasses thrust into their hands.

"It's sort of a bachelor party," she said, smiling deviously. "You don't have to stay out all night if you want to get home, but Clint and I wanted to do something for you guys."

"That's so nice, thank you." Bucky gave her a quick hug, then hugged Clint too.

Bucky looked over at Steve, who seemed happy catching up with Scott and Luis, sharing drinks with them. When Clint called for a toast, everyone raised their glasses and shouted excitedly, "To Bucky and Steve!"

 

~

 

Because of the wedding being just after Christmas, Bucky had made sure to organise all his Christmas shopping and activities early, so he didn't have to worry about it.

And everyone would get rather simple gifts this year because he was saving every spare dollar for extra wedding costs and their honeymoon over New Year's.

That was the part Bucky was most looking forward to: going away as a newly wed couple.

Steve had transferred to a different department at work, so he wasn't as preoccupied as he'd been before. In fact, he seemed much more relaxed, and they'd both had enough vacation days to be able to book a short stay, about five days, in a very pretty log cabin in upstate New York.

Bucky spent an inordinate amount of time picturing how good Steve would look wearing jeans and a flannel shirt, chopping logs outside the cabin. He planned to encourage Steve to do just that, having already bought Steve the perfect flannel shirt for the occasion.

But first, the wedding.

 

They weren't doing everything traditional, but Bucky didn't want to risk any bad luck if he could help it, so the day before the wedding he went to stay in a hotel spa with Becca, because she had coupons and said it could be like a hen slash bachelor night for them.

The spa was great, all they had to do was put on robes and slippers in their room, then go down to the spa level. They had massages and facials, wore goopy face masks and got a pedicure as they talked about the wedding and gossiped about various cousins.

Then they ordered room service for dinner, and watched sappy movies on the T.V.

Karen, Laura, and their mom, Winnie would join them the morning of the wedding, but Bucky enjoyed having a night just goofing around with Becca.

He sent a selfie of when he'd had his green face mask on to Steve, who replied with laughing emojis, but also told him to have a good time.

Steve was at their apartment, having dinner with his friend and best man, Sam, who'd just arrived in New York. It gave them a chance to catch up too.

 

The morning of the wedding, Bucky tried his best to zone out the noise of his excitable, bickering sisters and his mom, and just focus on getting dressed and fixing his hair, and getting to the venue.

He texted Steve a half dozen times asking if everything was okay his end (Steve said it was fine), before Becca confiscated his phone and told him to relax.

Bucky couldn't relax, so he had a small glass of whiskey instead. That helped a little.

They got to the venue with minimal fuss, quite the record for a Barnes wedding, met the ushers and more family, then went to get in their places.

Most of the guests had arrived already, so they were right on schedule.

Bucky went straight into the side room at the venue which was typically used as a bridal party waiting area. Steve, Sam and Clint already were.

Steve looked amazing in his suit, and Bucky went right up to him for a hug. Steve grinned and opened his arms, holding him tight.

"You look gorgeous, Buck," Steve whispered in his ear.

Bucky squeezed him. "So you do."

They would walk down the aisle together, so all they had to do now was wait for their cue, and Bucky was more than happy to let Becca and his family do all the wrangling for him.

There would be a lot of flower kids. There were loads of young children in the Barnes extended family, and Bucky had invited all of them to carry flowers or hold flowers if they wanted to, boys included.

Once all the guests were in, they were able to start.

Winnie went to take her seat with George, who was in the front row. Becca was in charge of what Clint was calling 'the small flower army', and once the chosen song started up (Love Is All Around), she herded off the Barnes kids one by one, with help from Karen and Laura. Each kid either held a posey of fresh flowers, or a little box of white rose petals they were allowed to throw in the air.

It gave them something to do, and the ones who threw the petals as they shuffled down the aisle seemed to enjoy it a lot.

Bucky peeped around the corner to watch, smothering a laugh at one of Karen's younger kids who dumped all his petals at once then giggled. The guests were taking photos, smiling and encouraging the kids into place.

Becca was timing the cues in the song, and sent Bucky's cousins and sisters along the aisle next.

Then she turned around and gave him a big grin. "Good luck!" she said, and kissed his cheek. "It's pretty easy, just say, 'I do', whenever anyone asks you a question."

Bucky grinned as he watched her go, and stood in place next to Steve, holding his hand.

"Ready?" Steve asked, smiling at him.

Bucky took a deep breath, and quickly adjusted the flower at his lapel. "Ready."

When their cue came, they walked down the aisle together, holding hands. Flashes went off as people took pictures, and Bucky couldn't stop grinning.

Sam and Clint walked behind them, and they all took their places in front of the officiary.

Bucky looked over at his dad, giving him a teary smile when he saw how happy George looked.

 

The ceremony itself went by in a blur, one moment Bucky was looking into Steve's blue eyes as they said their vows and exchanged rings, and the next it was all done. The guests applauded, and the song Bucky had chosen to walk out to started up (the Elton John cover of Chapel of Love). It hit Bucky all at once that this was it, they'd done it.

He was finally married.

"You okay?" Steve asked him, as they walked out of the venue amid confetti and cheers.

"Bit dizzy," Bucky admitted. "Think I need to eat something."

"There's a protein bar in my pocket," Steve told him. "Eat that, because you scheduled photos before the food, and you can't faint before then."

"I know," Bucky said with a laugh. "I'm an idiot."

He ate the protein bar, and had one of the kid's juice boxes, and felt a lot better.

They posed for the photos with the official photographer, which took so long with all the different guests and family members, but Bucky knew would be worth it to look back on.

Next came the line up, so Bucky and Steve, along with Becca, Sam and Clint helping out, waited at the entrance to the dining hall so they could greet their guests going in, shaking hands and thanking them for coming.

Bucky actually loved this part, though he could tell Steve wasn't particularly keen. That was why he'd asked Sam and Clint to keep him company.

Natasha came along to check if Clint was behaving himself, and it was actually pretty fun just hanging out. Bucky couldn't wait until the dancing later.

When they went in to sit down, finally, Bucky was starving. He and Steve took their seats on what they'd dubbed the groom's table, with Bucky sitting next to his parents, and Becca and her husband, Mike, over on Steve's side.

The tables closest to them, at least within talking distance, had all their friends and close family.

Bucky was just relieved to be sitting down with some food. Even if George did have a few grumbles about how there was no red meat choices.

"This is healthier, Dad," Bucky insisted. "And the doc said you can eat two slices of cake today, so there's that."

"I know, I know," George laughed. He wasn't drinking either, he was still on his water.

When it came time for the toasts, Bucky braced himself for the worst, but they were all a lot sweeter and more touching than he'd expected.

First was Becca's, and she thanked Bucky for being the best older brother she could hope for, and wished him luck for the future.

Then there was a joint effort from Sam, Steve's best man, and Clint, mostly poking a bit of fun at Steve and Bucky and their bad habits, which had the guests laughing along. Nothing too embarrassing, but Bucky's perfectionism was mentioned, as well as Steve's habit of leaving dirty dishes in the sink because he was a man who liked to live dangerously.

Bucky held Steve's hand on the table, and they laughed along with their guests.

Then it was George Barnes' turn, and he stood up with his glass (the only taste of champagne he was allowed to have all day) and told the room how proud of Bucky he was, and how pleased he was now he had Steve as a son too. He raised his glass and asked the guests to toast, and afterwards when he sat back down, Bucky couldn't help but lean in to whisper, "Dad, that was great, but how come you didn't do the shovel talk bit?"

"Hm?" George smiled at him. "Why would I need to do that?"

"I don't know, but you did it at all the other weddings," Bucky said.

George shrugged, and said, "Yeah, but, son, I _like_ Steve. Anyway, I think you two will be just fine."

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ~
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Kudos and (nice!) comments fuel me!
> 
>  
> 
> I am on [tumblr](http://jro616.tumblr.com)


End file.
